Ask Gabriel: Surgery and Labeling Yourself

Ask Gabriel is an advice column series where you can get your questions answered about being transgender, coming out, changing your name, hormones, sexuality, representation, dating, etc. These are questions that have been submitted to me by transgender and nonbinary people! You can read my last column here.

Hi Gabriel,

I’m 15 years old and I have been seeing my gender therapist for around eight months now (I have been out as FTM for around a year and a half now) and she refuses to let me begin my transition in fear that I’ll grow out of it. (By that, I mean she won’t let me begin testosterone). I am pre-everything and the way I look is starting make me pass less and less. I can’t change therapists because she’s the only one near me! (I live in a very conservative area) Any advice would be greatly appreciated! – Sebastian

Have you asked them what specifically makes them feel you will grow out of this? It might have been certain things you have disclosed to this therapist, which led them to believe that waiting would be best for the moment Also, you will more than likely need parental permission to go on testosterone (as you are underage) so that is most likely the reason than anything else. But this is just guesswork so please ask your therapist at your next session and then, depending on what they say, make a case for yourself that it is not temporary. Good luck! Continue reading

Ask Gabriel: Parents and Testosterone

Ask Gabriel is an advice column series where you can get your questions answered about being transgender, coming out, changing your name, hormones, sexuality, representation, dating, etc. These are questions that have been submitted to me by transgender and nonbinary people! You can read my last column here.

Hi Gabriel,

I came out socially as a binary transgender man about a year ago, with my name changed and everything. But because I’m in the UK and/or trying to move out, I am unable to start my medical transition for a number of years (probably 3-5). I’m 21 and it’s killing me that I don’t pass and I really don’t know what to do. I feel so desperate and isolated because you have to wait so long to see a gender specialist here. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. – Scott

There’s many things you can do while waiting for testosterone. You can try and practice making your voice lower, which might help you pass better. And seeing as how you don’t have anyone to talk to about this, I would highly suggest going to nearby transgender support groups so you can build connections and possibly make new friends. Who knows, you might meet someone else who is in the exact same position that you are in! Never underestimate the power of community, friend. šŸ™‚

If attending real life support groups might be too much for you, you can also join my Facebook group. While the group is largely US-based, we do have people here from the UK! Continue reading

Ask Gabriel: Choosing Names and Binders

Ask Gabriel is an advice column series where you can get your questions answered about being transgender, coming out, changing your name, hormones, sexuality, representation, dating, etc. These are questions that have been submitted to me by transgender and nonbinary people! You can read my last column here.

Hi Gabriel,

I’ve been wearing a binding since I was 17. I’m 28 now and it worries me to wear long-term. Any suggestions or sites that sell bindings for a decent price ? I’ve thought about top surgery as well, but nothing beyond that. Any insight works. – Anonymous

It would depend on what you mean by decent price. Budget friendly? I would recommend either GC2b or Underworks for a binder. I personally used GC2b as their binders are more comfortable but I find that Underworks is better for those with bigger chests.

Hi Gabriel,

I identify as nonbinary. I go to a university and I want to start an educational project for people to understand nonbinary folx. I also want to start a group for nonbinary students on campus. I’m not too sure on how to go about doing so however. Can you please give me some tips on how I can carry out those projects/ what I should do? I would appreciate this so much!! – Skyler

To start a support group, you’ll need to go through the proper channels at your university. You need to propose a group, explain why this group should be formed and do all the necessary paperwork. I would go to the student government (if applicable) and ask about the process of forming groups/clubs. Continue reading