Ask Gabriel: Culture and Information

Ask Gabriel is an advice column series where you can get your questions answered about being transgender, coming out, changing your name, hormones, sexuality, representation, dating, etc. These are questions that have been submitted to me by transgender and nonbinary people! You can read my last column here.

Hi Gabriel,

I’m scared, I’m a nonbinary lesbian and I like the feeling I get when I dress more masculine. I can’t buy any because I still live with my parents and they think I’m a girl and think I choose to be this. They don’t use my pronouns which are they/them. I don’t remind them cos I feel like there’s no point in doing it. They support Trump and my mom has yelled at me for looking the least bit masculine. She’s even yelled at me that you can’t “change to be a boy”. I’m a girl and that’s it. It’s pretty transphobic what she says sometimes and I don’t know what to do. She’s not like being gay is a sin but she thinks it’s a Choice. I have anxiety and it’s hard, I like feeling feminine sometimes but I like the illusion of a flat chest. I don’t know what to do. – Anonymous

Well unfortunately, there’s not much you can’t do to convince them if you have already tried. You can lead them to resources and articles that disprove what they say but they need to actually make an effort to educate themselves. In other words, it’s up to them if they want to change and, by the sound of it, it looks like they are steadfast in their beliefs. The best thing you can do is show them that they are wrong through actual scientific studies, articles and leave them to reach out to you if they are interested.

Here’s one article that I would show them: Continue reading