Ask Gabriel: Losing Weight and Children

Ask Gabriel is an advice column series where you can get your questions answered about being transgender, coming out, changing your name, hormones, sexuality, representation, dating, etc. These are questions that have been submitted to me by transgender and nonbinary people! You can read my last column here.

Hi Gabriel,

How did you lose weight? I’m so round and have huge hips and I want to know how to get rid of that? – Anonymous

Losing weight is more about what you eat than what you do at the gym though cardio exercise will certainly accelerate the results. However, I cannot stress enough the importance of cleaning up your diet because that is what will make or break your results. To lose weight, the calories you consume must be lower than the calories you use.  Also, you cannot spot reduce certain parts of your body – you have to aim for lowering your bodyfat percentarge all over. If you have wide hipbones, however, no amount of dieting and exercise can change  that.

I would highly recommend Bodybuilding.com to get you started and using MyFitnessPal for tracking your food and calories consumed daily. Even starting a daily food journal can help!

Please keep in mind that this is a lifestyle change and not something you can do for a few weeks and then go back to your old eating habits because then your body will go back to the way it was. You visualize your goal, make a diet/workout plan and STICK WITH IT! I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Continue reading

Ask Gabriel: Coming Out and Binding

Ask Gabriel is an advice column series where you can get your questions answered about being transgender, coming out, changing your name, hormones, sexuality, representation, dating, etc. These are questions that have been submitted to me by transgender and nonbinary people! You can read my last column here.

Hi Gabriel,

How did you come out to your parents as transgender? – Anonymous

I didn’t come out by my own choice. I was forced.

Well, let’s go back roughly 3 summers ago. It was my birthday and we were celebrating it along with Father’s Day at a Mexican restaurant. My dad and I had a silent treatment going on. My uncle, once again, made unwelcoming comments towards the way I dressed and that I was “too pretty” to be wearing only denim jeans and a T-shirt. I endured that kind of talk for many years but hearing it again basically put me in a foul mood and I was in no shape to be around people. I ignored my uncle for the rest of the night but it did not go unnoticed by my parents. After we came home, my mother wasted no time trying to find an answer. i kept telling her it was NOTHNG (I was a bad liar then) but she was unrelenting. At some point, I cracked and blurted out I was transgender and didn’t appreciate the comments my uncle made. My mom’s reaction was “Oh, that’s it?” but she wasn’t supportive about it. I never came out to my dad because of the aforementioned silent treatment but my mom thought it was best to tell him right away and she said he didn’t want me to do anything to my body. I went ahead against their wishes anyways.

3 years later, I still wouldn’t call them my biggest supporters. 😦 Continue reading

Ask Gabriel: Facial Hair and Popularity

Ask Gabriel is an advice column series where you can get your questions answered about being transgender, coming out, changing your name, hormones, sexuality, representation, dating, etc. These are questions that have been submitted to me by transgender and nonbinary people! You can read my last column here.

Hi Gabriel,

I’m just under 6 months on T and I’m wondering if there’s a recommended date or wait time for starting minoxidil? – Sydney

As someone who is currently using minoxidil, I personally wouldn’t recommend starting minoxidil for at least a year on testosterone. The reason for that is because facial hair usually doesn’t show up much in the first year (I actually got the most growth after that) and most of the growth you get while using minoxidil may just be testosterone doing its work. In other words, it’s too early! Also, facial hair is still dependent on genetics even when using products to stimulate facial hair. Minoxidil can only do so much – if there’s no hair follicles hidden under the skin to stimulate, it will have no effect.

Remember to read up on all its side effects before starting it!

Hi Gabriel,

If you went on hormones to look male but then go by non binary, what is the point? There isn’t nothing feminine about you, you look like a man to me. How would someone even know to call you they/them? – Derek

Gender expression does NOT equal gender identity, friend. Continue reading